The Second Guessing Bride

One of the most complex things about wedding planning are the amount of decisions that need to be made, both big and small. From the favors to the reception food, there are a ton of decisions that need to be made. And whether you have a long or a short engagement period, it’s always going to feel like there isn’t enough time to get everything done. Once your to-do list is checked off, you’ll likely think of more things to add to it!

With all of the decision-making, will likely come second guessing. Here are a few of my tips on key areas:

  • Wedding Dress This one catches a lot of brides by surprise. You’re in the store and you say “yes to the dress” and walk out on cloud 9. And then you start to question…is it the right style? Too formal? Right color? Too trendy? Will it be comfortable enough? Will it complement the venue? Don’t be caught off guard…this is NORMAL. I literally questioned my dress leading all of the way up to the big day. Some days I was positive that I had the most perfect dream dress, and then other times I found myself daydreaming about my “second choice.” The one thing that helped me was I actually didn’t “say yes” on the day I went dress shopping. I walked out with two top selections and was leaning towards one. When I woke up the next morning, I reviewed all of the photos that I took and thought long and hard, and ended up choosing the first dress that popped into my mind. My husband LOVED the dress and I wouldn’t have changed my mind, even if I had the opportunity.
    More reading: “What To Do If You Second Guess Your Wedding Dress” from Brides.
  • Wedding Registry This can be a really fun activity to focus on but the reality is that you will likely go back to your list and add/take away after you’ve already created it. Be smart with your choices and make sure you find the right compromise with your partner when selecting items that represent the both of you. Do select the”boring”/traditional things that you will need (and use every day), but don’t be afraid to add stand-out pieces like a piece of art that will mean a lot to you in your future home. And lastly, remember that you will likely receive quite a few gift cards (both to where you registered as well as other big-box stores.) The best thing about that is that you’ll have some left-over money to spend on things that you hadn’t already thought of before.
    More reading: “Wedding Bells: 10 Wedding Registry Tips From a Real Newlywed” from  guest blogger at Lauren Conrad.
  • Wedding Theme When you first select your theme, make sure it’s broad enough to have enough room to play around with. I recommend selecting both a theme, as well as a color scheme or decor…examples could be “Heaven on Earth, elegant glamour” or “Nautical Travel, blue and white” or “Classy Country, chic barnyard.” If you put it in too small of a box, it can be hard to add additional details when things come up. Allow the theme to evolve over time, too, since you’ll likely add to your decor along the way. No matter what, if you select a theme that represents you and your partner at time point in time, there’s no reason to feel like you wish you had a “do-over.”
    More reading: “How To Select Your Wedding Theme“, my blog from last week.
  • Party Guest List Face it, there are a lot of people in both of your lives, but the guest list can’t be limitless. Start with the most important people and then add to it. Have a discussion with the parents on both sides to find out what their top 1 and top 2 tier requests are, and then see if you can fit them in. It is important to ‘throw them a bone’ and invite Mom’s best friend or Dad’s pastor friend, because this is a family affair. Most importantly, ask yourself these three questions to help narrow it down, “Have ________ played an important role in mine/his life?” “Is this someone who will continue to be in our lives, after the wedding day?” “Will I regret if I don’t share this day with ___________ or have them in pictures?”
    More reading: “Tips for Making Your Wedding Guest List” from The Knot.

What’s most important? Trust your gut. And know that there are so many decisions that will need to be made, so it’s not going to benefit you to redo (and redo again) plans that are already put in place. It doesn’t matter HOW PERFECT your big day ends up being, you will likely still have things that you wish you did or didn’t do. And you know what? That’s normal. But, you then have a life as a wife to focus on so just keep moving forward!

With love,

Girl with a diamond ring

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Pinterest Tips to Use Before Wedding Dress Shopping

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To keep with the topic of Pinterest (one of my favorite wedding planning tools), let’s transition to a specific content category: wedding dresses.

I found my wedding dress on Pinterest. No joke!

I (like many of you) dreamed about my wedding dress well before he asked the big question. For years, I watched the tv show “Say Yes to the Dress” and I even cut out a few of my favorite dresses from bridal magazines. But what I ended up walking down the aisle in, ended up being completely different than my initial vision (in the best way possible.)

I spent hours looking at dresses online. I started with many of the big retailer websites so I could see what was available, but then I looked to Pinterest for more inspiration. This helped me get a better idea of budget, styles available, and material choices, but it also showed me how much was available. It can be quite daunting, but I was able to take a step back and just look at my research as inspiration. (Try not to get SO set on a specific dress or style because you never know how they will look!)

I started a wedding board specific to wedding dresses and started pinning away. I invited my sister/Maid of Honor so she could comment on the dresses. (One of her most hysterical comments was “Say no to peplum!” but that’s a story for another day.)

By the end of my pinning, I had almost 40 dresses and bridal veil styles selected. What I didn’t realize at the time was that it would be an invaluable tool when I actually went wedding dress shopping. My dad and I went on Valentine’s Day together to look for my dream dress at David’s Bridal. I walked in with my iPad and when the consultant asked what I had in mind, I pulled up my Pinterest board. Here was why this was SO helpful:

  1. It’s HARD to describe exactly what you envision, especially if you don’t know all of the technical dress terms of cut and style. This visual story telling will help set up the consultant for success and will decrease chances for miscommunication.
  2. It’s likely that you will fall in love with multiple styles (at least in theory) and it’s helpful for the consultant to see your variety in taste and how far you’re willing to push your own bounderies.
  3. Don’t forget to pin some dresses from the actual store’s website, so it’s easier to find exact styles. If you can’t find the store options on Pinterest, save the images from their website and pin them yourself.
  4. It’s important to let the consultant know that you are open, and not too set on anything you have pinned. The last thing you want them to feel like is that you’ve pinned (get it?) them into a corner with no room to exhaust their own expertise.
  5. Don’t question the consultant too much or act like you know it all. I recommend asking them to pull a “wild card” for you, because you never know!

What was interesting was that the dress I selected was LITERALLY the last dress that I pinned. It was a designer gown (a little over my budget, of course) that I randomly found through some random navigation online (you know how you go, I don’t know how I ended up on this person’s board, but I like it.)

Oh, and did I mention that it was blush colored? I had never even considered color before then, but this guided my discussion with the consultant so I was able to lead with “I’m open to color.” I ended up selecting that exact blush dress, and married the man of my dreams in it. Thanks Pinterest, David’s Bridal, and Vera Wang! Happy pinning and happy dress shopping…I hope you now see how the two can go hand in hand!

With love,

Girl with a diamond ring

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How to Effectively Use Pinterest for Wedding Planning

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I jumped on the Pinterest bandwagon soon after the platform was created. The collections of images made sense to me, but I never used it as a traditional social medium (commenting, making friends etc.) After I created a few simple boards, I found that I just liked looking at all of the images. I would choose a specific category like fitness or quotes and just scroll. The variation of images and inspiration was always a nice break in the day to get my mind off of work, home, etc.

Confession time: When my then-boyfriend and I started getting serious and I knew he was “the one”, I created a PRIVATE wedding board. Just for myself! It was fun for me to start to envision what the special day would look like. (I didn’t tell him, of course, because he might have gotten freaked out!)

Pinterest is HUGE in the wedding industry and you hear things at weddings like “This is totally a Pinterest wedding!” (as a compliment.) So for you new brides, here are my tips on how to get the most out of Pinterest when planning your wedding.

  • Don’t be afraid to create multiple boards by category (i.e. wedding dress options and décor.)
  • Be selective on what you might want private and what you choose to make public. Having a private board made me feel more comfortable, and I was able to truly pin multiple things without feeling like a crazy person! It almost felt like a personal notebook or planning folder.
  • Invite your bridal party to your boards! This can really help them see your vision and it becomes a shared activity so they can pin things, too. This is also a great way to get bridesmaids involved who don’t live in the same area as you. (And bridesmaids, do your own private boards for things like bachelorette party and the bridal shower.)
  • Start by reviewing the pre-set wedding related category, and then try some different search terms. I found more things in “boho wedding ideas” and “shabby chic wedding” than anything else…and those weren’t even my wedding themes!
  • Pinterest is a great source for color inspiration! You can search for color palettes and see how real brides have put these into action, and you might even find some unique color combinations that you would have never selected yourself.
  • Don’t be afraid to save pins to click through to links. I think some people forget that most images are tied to a link (especially wedding ones) so it’s a great way to quickly find new blogs or product pages. I found some great wedding favor ideas and day-of tips that I could look through when I had time.
  • Be open! When I was planning my wedding, I would spend one day a week during my lunch break sitting in my car and looking at boards on my iPad. I would just scroll, pin, and research, and many things popped out as inspiration that I wouldn’t technically search for.
  • Most importantly, don’t feel like you have to use every piece of inspiration or that you need to replicate what some call “a Pinterest wedding.” Feel free to use it as a visual guide to work with your wedding planner (if you have one) and any wedding vendors (like photographers or even wedding stylist/dress shopping.) It’s almost like a vision board, where you know it won’t get it all to look exactly that way, but it can help you start to envision what your big day will be like.

Pinterest is just one modern wedding day tool and can add a lot of fun to your wedding research process. Make it a side activity to do in your down time, and enjoy!

With love,

Girl with a diamond ring

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