I recently posted about the things that I didn’t realize about marriage once I got the ring. There is so much that you don’t know when entering this new season of your life, and that’s part of the fun. If you’re serious with your boyfriend, newly engaged, or newly married, here are some tips to help set you up for success. With anything in life, success is likely going to be a result of your attitude and commitment. Here is how you can mentally prepare to be a lifelong spouse:
Remember that future decisions will need to go from an I to a We. You are now part of a two-piece puzzle and it’s crucial that you keep in mind the other piece. While it might not change specific outcomes, at least you are in it together.
While you are both part of a two-for-one, don’t lose sight of your individual self worth or independence. Becoming a “wife” or a “husband” will be a new label in your identity, but it is not all that you are. Continue with your own self-care and choose to spend time doing the things that feed your soul.
Marriage is a marathon and not a sprint. Pace yourself with your expectations, how you adapt to living with one another, and what the rest of your lives together will look like. You have time to get to know each other and create norms that you’re both comfortable with.
As my sister/Matron of Honor shared in her wedding toast: “Always remember that you’re on the same team.” There will be times that it feels like the world is against you. No matter what, know that you’re backed into a corner with your spouse. They aren’t the ones that are on a different team, they are on your team. Try to show that to one another in your words and actions.
The engagement season is a unique time in your relationship where you can look forward and plan your life together. Once that life begins, do everything you can to ENJOY and be PRESENT. You have chosen one another and that’s the best part.